What are interpersonal skills?

Interpersonal skills are the skills you use to communicate effectively with other people. At work, interpersonal skills help you:

• understand what motivates others,
• communicate in a way that’s easy for others to understand
• build working relationships that last

The most important verbal and non-verbal interpersonal skills are key in any job. They help individuals interact with others, build strong relationships and form new relationships – in your personal life as well as work.People use interpersonal skills when finding a resolution to a problem at the workplace or negotiating with colleagues on issues. Interpersonal skills also help teamwork as you benefit from good communication, empathy amongst others, and the ability to get your point across successfully.

How to improve your interpersonal skills

Knowing how to improve your interpersonal skills can make you a better team player and a more confident professional. Personal skills involve your sense of self or how you see yourself. They encompasses your beliefs about the world and other people and how you feel about yourself and others. You can start to develop interpersonal relationships by being more aware of:

• how you communicate with others
• your impact on others during conversations
• the emotions that arise in the workplace
• each person’s unique mindset
• yours and others’ body language
• yours and others’ tone of voice

If you want to develop better interpersonal skills, here are ten steps you can use to create an action plan:

1. Keep a positive mindset

A positive mindset is key to being a good communicator, and it can also help you establish great relationships with others. When a company faces any adversity, employees prefer to be around positive people who have a positive outlook in difficult situations. Maintaining a positive mindset allows you to display a positive tone for everyone else and you can also encourage others to adopt the same mindset. A growth mindset helps to problem-solve quicker as you regard obstacles or problems as positive opportunities for growth.

2. Regulate your emotions

Identifying and regulating your emotions is a good way to start improving your interpersonal skills. Learn to understand your emotions and how they affect you, others and your success. Recognising the signs of your emotions can also help you to understand the emotions of others. It’s useful not only to recognise that these feelings exist but also to know what they mean by how to behave and interact with others in a given situation.Some people consider emotions as an obstacle when it comes to interpersonal communication because they can lead us astray or cause problems with other people. But if used properly, our feelings can be an enormous asset when it comes down to communicating effectively with others.

3. Actively listen to your colleagues

Listening is a skill, especially active listening to improve your understanding of the person talking, rather than just to respond. Listen for the main idea of the communication, what matters in this conversation and what isn’t that important. Try listening for the feeling behind the words.A good interpersonal skill to have is to listen to a conversation rather than actively planning what you’re going to say as a response. You can actively try to understand everything the other person is saying before replying with your own thoughts. Looking at someone’s body language can tell you a lot about how they feel, so try to look for visual cues too. You can also adapt your own body language to show that you’re interested in what they’re saying.

4. Practice mindful communication

Practice mindful communication by being aware of your own emotions as you interact with someone. One way of being mindful is to focus solely on the person speaking. You can practice building awareness of your body language and tone of voice. People attract other positive people. Understanding and feeling connected with your values can also help to stay mindful in conversations.

5. Find ways to practice your interpersonal skills

One of the strongest ways to improve your interpersonal skills is to practice them. There are lots of way to do this:

• Talk to a friend or family member about something they care about. Ask them questions and listen carefully to their answers.
• Strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know well, who might be willing to talk candidly about themselves, such as a taxi driver.
• Join a club or organisation where people meet regularly for fun activities, like volunteering at the local animal shelter.
• Try starting a new hobby that exposes you to different kinds of people than those in your everyday life.

All of these can help you to adapt to different conversations, practice staying mindful and practice active listening. Other examples could include:

• reading books to get more advice on developing interpersonal skills and building confidence in social situations
• signing up for activity classes, such as classes at your local gym, to develop your confidence further

6. Accept feedback

Accepting feedback is a useful way to improve your interpersonal skills. Asking for feedback is also a great way to learn about your strengths and weaknesses, for example, in work meetings and decision-making. You could also try asking a mentor or line manager to evaluate your interactions to determine your strengths and weaknesses. Learning to accept feedback is an interpersonal skill in itself.